This is a Satire Article and is only for fun purposes. Please do not consider this to be true. This article got exceptional response and was published by “Faking News” – leading Indian news satire and humor website. Link: http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/09/21/auto-drivers-celebrate-as-internet-gets-banned-in-gujarat/
Gujarat is synonymous to a lot of things – Mahatma Gandhi, Sardar Patel, Narendra Modi, Peace, Development, and off late, Hardik Patel. This young chap has shaken the state, literally. After a massive show of strength last month, his support has grown multifold. And, on a lazy Saturday morning of September 19, 2015; he took out the Ekta Yatra at Surat. As he did not have permission, he was detained by the police. By all logic and senses, anything done without permission is going to be punished. Even the sweetest school teacher would not let you sit in the classroom without your homework. So well, a rally without permission is obviously going to be stopped! But probably this act of the brave Gujarat Police did not go well with the supporters of Hardik Patel and the state saw a lot of protests and violence, in no time. Though it all seemed to be planned, there is no official confirmation on this.
In no time, the police and the government did what shook the state, once again. Mobile Internet Ban.
Imagine walking on a clear highway far away from the city. It is extremely sunny and to beat the heat, you have no bags with you. And suddenly, it rains. Rains like Cherrapunji. So, neither can you protect yourself by a raincoat nor can you go stand below the Paan-ka-Galaa. Life is doomed. This was the feeling of a normal Gujarati when the Internet Ban was announced.
But well, a coin has two sides. While people of Gujarat were cursing the system with all possible abuses in Gujarati, Gujjju-Hindi and the Gujju-English languages, the Autowallah’s were seen rejoicing. Since the time internet has penetrated to every corner of our country, mobile apps have become the buzzword and Ola, Uber and TFS have become household names. The need, importance and monopoly of the Autowallah’s have been risked since then. Internet and mobile apps have brought an end to customer-torturing faced by the ego of the Autowallah’s. But well, the Hero Hardik Patel got these Autowallah’s in business demand and of course, Aashan.
Tashan? No not that Kareena Kapoor’s boring movie. This Tashan refers to “50 rupees extra hoga”, “Main road pe chhod dunga”, “Dusra auto le lo”, “Mera meter bandh hai”, “Vaha bhadaa nahi milta” and the best “Auto tere baap ka nahi hai”. The kids of the 80’s-90’s have been born and brought up with these but off late had the privilege of living a modernized life. But not anymore. With creatures like Hardik Patel, internet may see very frequent bans in Gujarat and the Autowallah’s get the Tashan-ized life. The Faking News team got in touch with few autowallah’s and commuters on this.
Jignesh Shah, an Autowallah, says “Ola-Folaa ekdum bakwaas chhe. My rickshaw is the best!”
When a commuter, Amit Panchal came to him, Jignesh bhai was heard saying “20 rupees toh extra hoyega ho!” to which Mr. Panchal scratched his beard and boarded. He later tried tweeting this, but well, internet is banned.
Later we went to a famous management institute in Ahmedabad and talked to Professor Vasavada. She says “I do not support this Internet Ban. How will the brands interact with consumers and how will the advertising agencies put across those dicey ads?”
Towards the end of the day, we went to Jai Gujarat Rikshaw Association where the autowallah’s were praising Hardik Patel. “Hero chhe Hardik toh” and “Today I earnt Rs. 665 above the meter fare” were heard in plenty.
Verdict 1: Hardik Patel will see a major support of the Autowallah’s irrespective of caste, color, creed and social status.
Verdict 2: Mobile Apps may not really suffer from this ban but the cab drivers of Gujarat and their families will have a toss of their life in these days.