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“One Like One Comment” Yojana to be launched: Sources

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This is a Satire Article and is only for fun purposes. Please do not consider this to be true. This article got exceptional response and was published by “Faking News” – leading Indian news satire and humor website. Link: http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2015/09/15/one-like-one-comment-yojana-to-be-launched-sources/

 

The past weekend was a crazy time all over the media. Mr. Mark Zuckerberg announced of his meeting with Prime Minister Narendra Modi at the Facebook HQ on September 27, 2015. This news got more attention than the cavity in the Colgate ad. Or rather, the lead in Maggi noodles. Or well, Tanmay in AIB. Ehh no, let us ignore the last statement. So there were numerous posts of “Great news for India” and “Waah Mr. PM” everywhere on the weekend. The Indians felt as if Mr. Adani had bought Facebook (It is a possibility but let us not get into this).

While everyone was going crazy by this announcement, the Faking News team was all set to investigate the ‘behind the curtain deal’. Afterall, we watch CID everyday and they have spoiled our minds to think “Kuchh Toh Gadbad Hai Daya!”

After meeting a lot of ministers and bureaucrats, we got to know that there is something spectacular going to be announced. Since most of our ministers have no idea about Social Media and that they give all this to an agency to handle, they were clueless about the details of the meeting. All they knew is that “Yojana Vojana Announce Hogi”. Few bribes and a lot of gifts by our team finally worked when this about-to-retire uncle from the PMO broke the news. “One Like One Comment” is now on the cards.

Why the “One Like One Comment” Yojana?

Seeing the huge discrepancies in the number of likes and comments, particularly in India, Mr. Mark and Mr. Modi have found this to be a very serious issue. Moreover, as Mr. Modi is now the “global rockstar” as per the paid news channels, his strategic team believes that this needs to be looked into on an urgent basis. Also, insiders say that the Congress is going to issue an ad which will show the very less number of comments on Mr. Modi’s pics as compared to his counterparts. Typically, Mr. Modi’s picture gets 200 comments for every 1000 likes which is far below the other global rockstars like Taylor Swift and Tushar Kapoor (Yes Tushar Kapoor is heavily abused but that’s okay).

So, what is this “One Like One Comment” Yojana?

E.g. If you Like a picture of your friend on Facebook, you will then have to go to Mr. Modi’s page and comment on his updates. Only after one comment you will be eligible for another Like elsewhere. However later on, after two months, this scheme will not be restricted to Mr. Modi’s page.

The pilot project of “One Like One Comment” Yojana will be implemented in India where every Indian Facebook user will have to compulsorily comment on a picture after liking it, even if it is just a “nice DP” and “you look pretty” statement. For the first two months, this will be made compulsory only on Mr. Narendra Modi’s page and later expanded to all users in India.

What about “One Rank One Pension” Yojana?

We did not get any response on this from our source.

 

Mr. Anand Bhate
Mr. Anand Bhate
Mr. Anand Bhate is the Director of 'Jeevan Anand Builders', a Gujarat based real estate development company. Writing is his passion and in 2016, he co-authored a fiction novel "C + Plus Doctor Thepla", which went on to create a World Record! He has pursued his MBA from Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, Bengaluru.

4 Comments

  1. Dhara Nair says:

    Hahahaha what if this happens? What will RaGa do?

  2. Akshay Pathak says:

    ROFL! Good one 🙂

  3. Sneha Yadav says:

    The Tushar Kapoor part was epic 😀 well written!

  4. Sidd Kotecha says:

    HILARIOUS is the word 🙂

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